Retcon to having met Dutch on the road prior to getting to the Aquatic Elf Village.
The Daring found out that the lizard folk, who normally had stayed on their land, had become aggressive and attacked the Aquatic elves. The lizard folk had even captured some Elven children. The Daring agreed to investigate. O’Shannessy (No idea what is name is actually…I always called him Shamus) acted as their Guide. Leo also told the chief to “Dare to Believe” and if was super fucking cool. The group discussed getting sweet tattoos of that slogan.
Ghazan was a better guide than Shamus – Obviously. The Daring traveled through the swamp/bog and was jumped by a Huge Croc-a-donk while they crossed some stones. Shamus pooped and peed himself in fear and then The Daring killed the Croc in like 4 seconds. Shamus was ashamed.
The Daring found a trail that split off from the main hunting trail. They found a retarded cyclops who was a little like that monster guy from the Goonies. He was an alright guy though and The Daring agreed to kill 5 lizard folk for him and bring back their heads.
The Daring continued on the main trail and came to a bridge that marked the passage into the lizard folk lands. There were a group of mounted lizard folk with a shaman guarding the bridge. The Daring did not speak their language and had to utilize Shamus to translate- He probably fucked it all up – then The Daring had to kill all the lizard folk because they refused to move and declared they would attack if The Daring attempted to pass.
Shamus’ heart was heavy for having to slay the lizard folk. The Daring pushed him aside and hacked off their heads with small rusty daggers in the most gruesome of fashions (jk, I’m sure they did it quick…maybe) and brought the heads to the Goonies monster. He made Yip do the truffle shuffle. He still bares that shame to this day. Ok, that didn’t actually happen – They got some reward that was probably shitty because it was a Cyclops.
The Daring continued on the main trail and entered a lizard village. Sexy lizard bitches were running around screaming with their lizard tits flopping around, hiding their babies and stuff. Some armed Lizards came out and obviously didn’t realize how easily The Daring had just killed a group of their mounted soldiers. The Daring spoke to their Elder who admitted that the lizard folk did actually capture the elves. But, they were forced to do so by a great evil. The Daring found out where this evil was and went there.
There was a super awesome dome of trees/branches/vines and The Daring went inside and saw tons of flying Kobolds, a wyrmling and a FUCKING DRAGON. Dutch magic’d all the Kobolds to death instantly. Yip got his shit fucked by Acid and I think Ghazan fired an arrow straight into the Dragon’s asshole. Leo suplexed the Wyrming – killing it instantly. Dutch then single handedly killed the Dragon and became known as Dragon’s Bane to all the sexy ladies in the land.
There was a cage with an Elf child in it and tons of gold and jewels and sweets items. They rescued the kid and spoke to the Lizard elder again. A relative peace was restored between the lizards and elves and The Daring returned to the Elf village.
Upon hearing of their feats, and having returned the child, a feast was put on. There was lots of ritualistic dancing – There was even an ancient dance called The Yip. It went something like this, “Do The Yip…….Do the Yip Yip.” It was really cool and all of The Daring agreed it was super sweet.
With this task completed, and a shit load of unidentified magic items the group made their way towards Intercity. On the way they engaged an Orc War Party (fucking smashed’em) some Hill Giants (Obliterated them) and some Trolls (AH FUCK BURN THEM WITH FIRE, oh cool we killed them.) The Daring found they grew in strength after these battles. Drake was like, “My friends, after our trials the past few days I think we have grown stronger…I’m pretty sure those trolls were enough experience for us to make it to level 6. Sweet, I hope I get some new abilities.”
The Daring made it to Intercity and identified their items and sold whatever wasn’t useful. Ghazan got a fucking sweet bow that turns any boss monster into a litttttle bitttttch. The Daring then went to The Crossroads. There were some Crossroads legends at the bar. Yip even met Ivan, Ivan pretty much treated him like a child with downs syndrome and was just nice to him so he didn’t hurt his feelings. Yip was super happy, and also maybe a little downy.
Ghazan found the badge of an Intercity military member. Kenrick directed them towards the closest outpost. The officer at the outpost called Smilley over. Smilley got shit canned. Yip protested and did everything he could to save Smilley’s job….But alas, No.
Somewhere along the line the person The Daring worked with to sell the boat gained clairvoyance and told them it would sell in a month for 5000 dollar bills and that The Daring just had to collect the green in Intercity after that date.
And that brings us to now – Oh, and also too – Shamus said he would travel with us if we wanted. So we need to decide it that happened or not.